Wake Up, Little Susie

Today I overslept. Advil PM and all, I was awake before nine o’clock. No alarm. On Sunday. Lately 7:30 seems to be my usual waking hour.

I know, I am turning into my father. Every day it’s been like this since my new crutch enhanced life began. I don’t think I’ve voluntarily and consistently gotten up that early ever in my life. Am I finally becoming a respectable person? Since I was a kid I’ve been subject to insult and humiliation from friends and family alike for my inexcusable and horrible sin.

I really don’t know why early risers get such a great reputation. And conversely why individuals like myself, at least my old two-legged self, are reduced to the level of sloths, parasites, bankers and other useless life forms. It’s just an alternative lifestyle, people! We don’t choose to be like that, we are born this way! Plus what’s so great about mornings? Everybody looks miserable. Smiles start at noon, we all know that.

I've always thought that mornings should be forbidden. That’s one of the things I loved about living in Marbella. You couldn’t even dream of making any kind of appointment before 10:30. That’s civilized. My kind of civilization anyways. Compare that to waking up at 6 AM, being surrounded by unhappy people rushing to their boring jobs, people giving their fellow subway riders the evil eye, morning people.

But what am I saying? For the last 22 days I’ve been up without alarm clocks, coercion or threat. Yes, I have. I think I should call my dad. It took 38 years and a badly broken ankle, but I finally did something he can be proud of.